I was born with this body. And even when I was thinner, my body still more or less resembled its current state.
Like the myth of the American Dream, I too believed that if I worked hard enough I would have the body I wanted. But the body I wanted looked nothing like the body I have. Despite knowing this, I still tried to change my physical body to resemble my version of the perfect body.
We are born into our bodies and the truth is that we have little control over their shape.
When I thought I could control my body it ruined my life. Because I was chasing an elusive dream. The most freeing thing I have ever done is to accept. Accept that my body is just how it is. Accept that I don’t like my body. Accept and not wish or will away. It is the most difficult thing a person can do. We are taught that we can and should control our bodies, that they will bend to our will. We try the same thing a thousand times and we expect something different, that maybe this time our bodies will cooperate. And they never do. Because they aren’t meant to be controlled.